


eyes fighting the night

by emmisaysmufasa



Category: Dead Poets Society (1989)
Genre: M/M, Pining, Poetry
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-28
Updated: 2018-04-25
Packaged: 2019-04-13 21:13:09
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,139
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14120940
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/emmisaysmufasa/pseuds/emmisaysmufasa





	1. Chapter 1

It was spring, and Welton Academy was thawing from the winter. Students ran about laughing, now able to spend more time outdoors, cabin fever from classes and the dining hall having gotten to them.  
The poets were sat under a tree, specifically one side- not so much for shade, as for the fact that Neil had a packet of cigarettes and a lighter.  
Charlie, Meeks and Cameron were huddled over a poem Knox had given them for their opinions, and Todd was timidly, as usual, smoking a cigarette supplied by Neil.  
"It's shit," Charlie reported, finally, tossing the paper back to Knox.  
"What do you mean it's shit?" Knox demanded. "I spent all last night on it!"  
"It sucks, Knox. Back me up, Cameron."  
"It really does," Cameron said sheepishly, dodging a smack from Knox's folder.  
"Poetry's objective."  
"Mmm, but it's meant to at least... resemble poetry."  
"You mean subjective," Meeks said. "I don't know how you thought rhyming 'maroon' with 'i swoon' was a smart idea-" he was cut off by a final groan from Knox.  
"Well, what am I supposed to do, then?" He asked, gaze finally landing on Todd. "C'mon, Todd, you're the quiet, complicated edgy type. You must have something."  
"Todd's last poem was about his daddy issues," Charlie cut in, recieving a glare from Neil. "Not exactly the most romantic."  
"It's nice poetry, though," Neil offered, trying to catch Todd's eye.  
"How long now?" Cameron asked, bringing the attention back to Knox.  
"One month," Knox admitted.  
"Wow. Isn't that, I dunno, the longest time for you?" Charlie asked cheekily.  
"Shut up. Chris is... special. I want to do something... nice."  
A thoughtful quietness settled over the group. Because sure, Knox had good traits- his charm, his humor- but it was rare to attribute something he did as 'romantic.'

That night, Neil went to brush his teeth early, and Todd took the time to pull out his own folder.  
It wasn't that his poetry was sad, so much as that he just didn't have much to write about. Nothing all that happy. Genuinely happy. It was kind of sad, he reflected, the inability to write poetry when he was happy.  
Neil came back, and took notice of Todd's folder, a few botched attempts at poems strewn about on Todd's bed. Neil picked up one of them, as Todd reread another in exasperation.  
"This one's nice," Neil said, and Todd turned, saw the poem and immediately tried to grab it.  
"What? It's a nice poem!"  
"It's... not what I wanted."  
Neil started to read aloud, Todd looking embarrassed. 

"heading down into the night  
our late meetings are our secret,  
lighters flaring up in the dark sky,  
even when we're so cold it's frozen  
we speak our words and share our feasts  
and then head back to the beast."

Neil paused. "Well."  
"I told you," Todd exclaimed, plucking the paper from Neil's hand.  
"What- Todd it's not bad! It's... sweet. It's about us, isn't it? The poets?"  
Todd's cheeks heated up and he dropped his gaze to his bed.  
"You should read this to them."  
"No way. You think Charlie would let me live this down?"  
"Todd-"  
"Just stop. Leave me alone, Neil. I need to get ready for bed." Todd gathered up his poems, and stuffed them back in his folder, then got into bed, turning away, without even brushing his teeth.

In his haste, Todd hadn't noticed that one of the poems had dropped onto the floor.  
Neil didn't even notice, until he woke up, and out of curiosity, he looked.

'your eyes light up in the night  
gaze melts into mine,  
it feels like just us in the world  
when you look at me like that  
your touch leaves me dazed,  
feeling high all the day,  
knowing you feels just like home,  
i never want to leave.'

Neil dropped the poem in surprise, and as Todd stirred in his bed opposite him, Neil quickly shoved the poem into his own folder, to think about later.


	2. Chapter 2

Over the next week, Neil thought only about that poem. That damned poem. It became his obsession.   
Maybe it was about a girl from Todd's past, but he didn't think so.   
Sometimes he'd find himself wondering why he even cared so much, and he'd have to stop thinking before he went too far.  
Todd didn't notice the missing poem, until Thursday. 

Neil sat in bed, rubbing his eyes.  
Todd was ransacking the room, pulling out the cupboards, pulling off his sheets.  
"Hey. Hey! What's wrong?"  
Todd sighed and sat on his own bed.   
"I can't find this... poem I wrote. And I'm just... worried it could have fallen into the wrong hands."  
Neil frowned to himself. Was he the 'wrong hands'? Maybe he should just come clean and tell Todd he had it.   
Todd gave up and went to brush his teeth, and Neil, in a moment of genius, grabbed the poem from his folder and stuck it behind the drawers. It almost looked like it could have been caught, too caught for Todd to find it. Then he got up, and got ready for the day.

After class with Mr Keating, during which Todd had been very quiet, the boys went to their favourite spot to smoke.   
Knox was trying out his new poem on Cameron, who was frowning and shaking his head, Charlie and Meeks were talking over their cigarettes, and Todd was sitting off to the side. As usual. Neil went and sat by him, and Todd looked over and sighed.  
"Find that poem yet?"  
"No."  
"Well, don't give up. Could always be in the room after all."  
"I guess so."  
Neil was desperate to bring the poem up. To ask if Todd had had a girlfriend. Or if the poem was even about someone at Welton. But he sat in silence with Todd, watching his friends laugh and bicker, thinking about every unspoken word between him and Todd, since day one.


	3. Chapter 3

It snowed the next week. The boys went out into the snow, Cameron chosing to stay inside in favor of warmth, and Knox talked about Chris, as usual, and the rest of the boys made jokes about it, as usual. But what wasn't usual was the way Todd stood out, looking into the distance, and how Neil went over to him and watched with him, and how when Neil looked back at Todd he could see flakes of snow on his eyelashes, his lips turning red from the cold, real and fragile and _beautiful,_ and how when Todd looked back at him Neil could have sworn, he could have _sworn_ he held Neil's gaze for longer than felt normal. 

 

What wasn't usual was the fact that that night when they went to bed, Neil had dreams of flakes on eyelashes, and beautiful red lips.


End file.
